A fairy tale
I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this
Once upon a time there was a retarded beggar child with scurvy and leprosy, who was blind and deaf and had a terrible stutter. One day he was cursed by an evil witch, who turned him into a handsome prince with a slight above average sized penis - so handsome indeed, that everyone he met was instantly enchanted and charmed. Soon all he wanted was for anyone to recognize him as in dire need of help to do even the most basic things, like putting on clothes and feeding himself.
He would cry out: “He-he-he-he-heahelarph pelaaepleeeaapleeepleeassee” and everyone would laugh, slap him on the back and say “what a great joke!”, and all the girls would swoon, impressed with how he was always the life of the party and everyone seemed to look up to him.
“Iam dededeaagfah hleph”, he would say, and they all agreed that he was very underrated and wise, and they would all do well to be more like him. “Icant lliliive please I nnede hepl”.
Before long a young princess, fairest in all the land, saw his antics and decided; he must be mine. That very same evening, as he was whimpering himself to sleep, the princess snuck her way into his chambers and statutorily raped him. “whatst hapeenig I dont undederastsant” he screamed, and she was very proud of how good she was at sex to make him all flustered and lose his cool. “I’ve broken his hard exterior of irony and stoicism with my great pussy” she thought to herself. “I fixed him and made him open up and be more emotional”. “aah aaaaaah egggh aaah” he said.
Soon arrangements were made and their wedding announced. Although he wasn’t aware of this, being deaf and blind. The day before the wedding, he was limping around the palace garden the villagers had built for him, looking for a tree to hang himself from, when by chance he once again came by the evil witch, who greeted him with a sly smile. “It seems you have learned a valuable lesson from the trials and tribulations and many adventures you have gone through since we last met and underwent personal growth”, she said. He answered: “waht? whoara youyyu. whatats hapeneing”