Copeland

There be gold in them hills

I have been thinking about giving Elon Musk 8 dollars. I have been thinking about posting face. I have been thinking about never speaking to my parents again. I have been thinking about moving away and not telling anyone. Just disappearing. Again. I have done that 2 times before. It's very easy today. I've been thinking about going to war. I've been thinking about calling my brother more. He is struggling right now with problems I have previously solved for myself. I've been thinking about marrying an Australian e-girl. I've been thinking about buying a motorcycle and a sleeping bag.

I beat the system, I proved my point. I have money and I didn't play by the rules, I did everything wrong on purpose. What now.

I was always worried if I got my shit together, I would start drinking again. Instead, I quit smoking.

I don't think forgiveness has to mean reunion. It's good when it does, but there are different categories of “those that trespass against us”. Our Lord says, when your brother sins against you 7 times, forgive him 7 times. But he also dictates a code of conduct in cases where someone refuses to be our brother: if you preach the word in a city and they refuse it, shake the dust off our feet for a testimony against them.

What does forgiving this city look like? Stepping over. What does loving this enemy look like? Detachment. What does forgiving an enemy, who is not your brother look like, psychologically, in terms we would use today? “The opposite of hate is not love, but indifference“. I have forgiven some people and it was a lot different than I thought it was going to be.

I'd like to live in that little house and teach a boy to play the piano, and fell trees for heating in the winter, and build fences, and empty the gutters, and paint the house, and all those things I hated doing with my dad when I was a baby. Put up a fence because the dog had puppies and have them be able to run around. Pass on the good things I had to someone.

Get away from it all. Never go on the Internet again. Go to Australia and live far away from everything.

I've been there before, in Eden. The Australians call it the outback, I think. Danes call it, 'out where the edge of the world is extended by wooden planks'. All alone. All together. One flesh.

Until they come and get me.