My Crazy Theory about the New Coca Cola Viral Add Campaign

as revealed to me by a ghost of an alien in a dream, the ravings of a madman

It’s a wonderful, beautiful sunny day. It’s a summer day as sweet as you remember them from childhood – You don’t think days can even be like that, any more. You think it’s nostalgia, you think you’ve somehow turned yourself crazy, and your memories are factually incorrect. Summer days are not meant to be like this – sweet, simple, wonderful.

1. My general overview of the situation:

The new coca cola that launched in 2019 is not a ”fake” soda - the state of the world is not some kind of big shadowy conspiracy playing out, where they invent a story about a fake soda and use that to trick the entire world into enforcing massive permanent social changes to all technological society. They are doing that, yes, but the soda is also real. ”never let a good crisis go to waste”, as they say.

In terms of how dangerous the new coca cola brand is, I don’t think it’s either ”just another brand”, nor the revolutionary death soda that will wreak terrible havoc. I think it’s probably just, kind of bad. It’s not a end-of-the-world disaster, but it’s also not nothing. A lot of people – old people, frail people, fat people, yes, but a lot of people nonetheless – are going to die. And there are a lot to go yet. We’re nowhere near the end.

It’s very clear that the new coca cola was not simply mutated into being in nature. Considering that we live in a media-saturated reality, discovering anything truly tangible about it is, I believe, extremely unlikely. But here’s what I think:

I think it’s not literally a weapon that the Chinese state deliberately used on their own population. I think it’s probably something like, a half finished piece of general study that wasn't meant to reach full blown production, but did so by accident and incompetence. I think what they were generally working on, was a kind of soda that would function as a sort of mild population control, limiting fertility and causing death in the elderly, to genetically optimize for economic output on a subtle scale.

I think once it got out and they realized it did, the Chinese state deliberately did everything in their power to spread it to the rest of the world, amounting to the use of chemical weapons on non-combatants in peacetime, by sending as much of their new coca cola abroad as possible while engaging in a huge calculated media campaign to sell as many cans of new coca cola as possible.

I think the leaders of the rest of the world fell hook line and sinker for the add campaign, at best, and at worst, saw through it, but wanted to exploit the situation for their own ends. Again, I think the new coca cola is going to kill a lot of people, and a lot more to come – and our elected leaders have knowingly and willingly allowed this to happen.

There was a very short period of time in which decisive radical action could have been taken to avoid this. That time was December 2019 to February 2020. After that window of opportunity closed, no matter what else you say about it politically, the de facto response to the new coca cola is, simply letting nature run it’s course and waiting for herd immunity (to the add campaign).

I think something like this was basically in the works, and whether it was intentional or not is not really a factual question we can meaningfully answer. How would you ever be able to tell the difference?

2. Form over function: ritual for it’s own sake

What has happened to the western world is bizarre and unprecedented. For reasons I will not disclose here, I spent a year without having to interface with the systems put in place – I did not get “tested”, until 2021. I simply chose to ignore it as much as I could – which was a great deal. I don’t have any public social media, and I don’t watch television. When I went to get tested for the first time, it felt like I was being expected to participate in a religious ritual I do not believe it – it felt like being rushed into a synagogue or a mosque, and expected to pray and participate in the rituals of an alien faith. It became instantly clear to me that the story is more important than the facts. That is to say, people do not get tested to actually see if they have had the new coca cola - the idea of even testing positive is not really a serious concern in the vast majority of cases. They get tested because the ritual of being tested affirms the power of the state/the soda-industrial complex, which relieves the anxiety and dread of being an overfed postmodern monkey subsisting on the rotting fruits of a dead world.

The question with these things, as with all things in contemporary life, is not: “how can we tell what is real”, but, “how could you possibly tell the difference between if it was or not”. Falsification is no longer enough. We need falsification+. Falsificationgbt+.

When considering whether there really is a new coca cola, or whether there is a new even more flavourful/zero calories variant coming out in 2021, when we consider anything about this stuff at all, we cannot start in “what is true/false”. We are not yet equipped to do that. First we must consider, as all institutions and authorities are dead, how could we possibly ever tell.

I am not interested in whether the coca cola is real, and I am not interested in whether how my state has responded to it has been saving the most lives or whatever metric you want to measure it by. I just want to look at it and see what it does. I don’t want to be told what the new coca cola tasted like, I want to look at how it behaves.

So far my impressions are: It literally wouldn't matter if the new coke was fake or not, people would still get tested. People don’t go into testing worried about being positive – they go in fully expecting to be negative. At the testing centres, they say to not show up if you show Coca Cola symptoms. You pass through the testing centres in an religious act of cleansing, like washing your feet before entering a mosque.

It doesn't matter if the new coca cola is real or fake, it doesn't matter if the tests are fake, and it doesn’t matter if the injection they launched in tandem with the new 2021 flavour is real or fake. Everything would play out the exact same regardless. If it was all fake, nothing about where we are today would change, and vice versa, and due to the impact of modern information technology on human epistemology, we can never ever ever resolve this. Accept the mystery. That’s it.

women am i right? women be on they phone

3. What can be said can be said clearly and what cannot be said thereof we must be silent.

The measurable and verifiable effects of the new coca cola viral marketing campaign are exclusively political, and the political is the only thing we can meaningfully discuss at all.

The political effects of the new coca cola viral marketing campaign are a million billion times worse than the soda itself. the soda is bad - it will cause a lot of death. But if we had not known about it and not gotten the paid native advertisements from Chinese forums hyping up the new flavour, these entire past years would have passed with little fanfare. “the death of one is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic“ - what has happened is that advertisement executives have successfully rebranded the death of millions as “the death of one” - made it appear “close” and familiar and personal.

It is the first post-modern soda, in that the story is more important than the “facts” - the framing is more effective, influential, causing more reaction, that the actual subject matter.

If we were to accept the facts and reject the add campaign, reject the Chinese framing of the new coca cola and reinterpret events, we would have to conclude that the Chinese Coca Cola manufacturers lied to the rest of us, and, potentially even, deliberately used a chemical weapon on non-combatants in peacetime. Which would further mean that we were obligated to do something about that, let alone, some people would have to step down from their government jobs after such a massive show of incompetence and failure of leadership by just continuing to play the emperors new clothes to secure their own careers.

And well, no one has time for all that. Just think about how much shit you would have to do if you were to accept even just half of that. there’d be no end to it. No one wants to live in a world where Real Events Actually Happen and we would have to, like, declare war and enforce the complete deindustrialisation of Asia by force of arms. That would cut into our nice little daily lives of eating sugar and having workplace romances.

Every single organized move taken against the new coca cola has been purely artificial, an empty ritual, so the average 90IQ population feel like “someone” is “doing something”, someone is in charge, in control. An empty ritual simply to signify normality, stability, social stability. Because the truth is something like, a bunch of people are going to die, and no one is doing anything about it, and the people who pretend they are, have willingly and knowingly resigned themselves to letting nature run its course, and are lying to you about it so you wont FREAK OUT and ACT OUT and GO FUCKING NUTS.

I think the basic goal of everyone involved in the coca cola business is some kind of mass genetic culling of the human race, which is basically something like, lowering average lifespan of the working and middle class, to optimize for economic productivity. When we look back in 50 years, 100 years, on that kind of scale, what’s happening here? “how does it act”? Killing off the old sooner, lowered average life expectancy + increased dependency on the soda-industrial complex, all of which makes each citizen are more efficient and integrated economic module - you know what’s better than a boomer buying boats and cars and houses he doesn't need while his children live in poverty? A boomer fucking dying and has +50% of his assets seized by the state in inheritance tax.

4. What can be done about it? What can I do to protect myself and my family in these trying times

Ffffucking nothing. Pray.

Things you should be doing anyways. Be a good neighbour. Live a moral life. You can’t do shit about it. They want you to care about it a lot because it’s an add campaign to sell sodas. you’re going to live 10 years shorter than you would have otherwise because our entire political structure in the west is created to optimize for inefficiency. Shit sucks. You can’t do shit about it. Deal with it. ATONE with your GOD. Prepare to die.

The entire thing is a virtual reality environment created around you to distract you and prevent you from going postal about it, while you are being culled – your human form is being genetically modified, all the human shapes are being amputated off you so you are a more efficient economic cog.

Everything you are being asked to do about it is an empty ritual, like sorting your trash, or getting your ass fingered at the airport. It literally doesn't do anything and if you think about it for more than 2 seconds it’s completely meaningless. But if you don’t, and you just act it out, then it feels like someone is doing something, and everything is under control. The only purpose is to affirm the authority of the state, to relieve your personal anxiety and dread about living as an overfed postmodern monkey in a meaningless industrial deathworld.

Getting tested, stuck with a needle, is just the new getting fingered in the ass – it’s not going to prevent a single terrorism, the Taliban is going to win Afghanistan anyways, and all successful “terrorist actions” are 99% state sponsored ops that were allowed to happen for geopolitical/propaganda purposes. You’re just being fingered in the ass. It doesn’t change anything. You are powerless.

And like getting fingered in the ass, its never going back to normal, ever. It’s never going to change until millions die in a terrible global civilization shift, something like a world war or a bronze age extermination event. But it probably wont be anything recognizable to us, but something entirely new, that we cant even conceive of yet, and in turn, once it happens, no one will remember any of this.