A man goes up to a woman, and asks her: “would you mind if I do it all for you?”
“huh?”
“Would you mind if I did it all for you.”
“I don’t understand what you mean”
“lived my life. Sweat, toil, suffering, all that stuff. Geez now I’m making it sound bad. I don’t mean in like that. it’s not like it’s about suffering per se, it’s just about, you know, purpose.”
“I’m not sure I understand. I’m flattered”
“then I suppose you dont.”
“oh so you’re not worth being flattered by?”
“you tell me”
“well I’m telling you that I’m flattered.”
“you’re making this too easy. When I said it wasn’t all about suffering, I mean, there’s still gotta be some kind of suffering - doesn’t there?”
“I don’t see why there should be. Unless you need it to validate you.”
“well, I suppose I do. We wouldn’t be talking about this if I didn’t.”
“buuh, you silly stupid bad boy. There, feel better?”
“yes, kind of. It would be better if you meant it though.”
“who’s to say I don’t?”
“fair enough. You didn’t answer the question”
“I still don’t understand what you mean”
“getting my dick hard, for one. Holding your hand and kissing you and having sex with you. Waking up with you. Waking up in the first place. Getting out of bed in the morning. Preparing food. Working for a wage, and using that wage to pay for food and shelter. Medium to long-term life planning. Domestication of wildlife and plantlife, domestication of nature and our physical environement. Keeping myself reasonably clean, healthy. Breathing. Sleeping at night. Calling my parents sometimes by my own impulse, and not only receiving their calls. Being an active member of my immediate community, caring about my neighbours, involving myself in their lives.”
“you know, most girls would probably prefer that you had all that stuff figured out already. That all seems pretty basic you know.”
“oh yes, definitely. They would.”
“And you would like to do all of this, “for me”?”
“if you don’t mind.”
“what’s in it “for me”, then”
“I don’t really know. Haven't thought that far.”
“I take it you’re not doing this stuff already?”
“nope”
“I don’t know man. Seems like there’s a catch here you’re not telling me about. Like, I don’t see how I interact with any of this, at all, if I say yes, I don’t understand what-”
“you don’t.”
“- then what’s the point?”
“I can’t do it without you. I can’t do it alone.”
“That’s a lot to put on me”
“I did say “if you don’t mind””
“well maybe I mind then.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“but you don’t know me at all!”
“generally speaking. Not in like, a personal way.”
“you're afraid that people will mind you being alive? being normal?”
“not exactly no. I’m afraid they will mind that I’m doing it for them”
“what’s the difference”
“there’s a difference to me.”
“I didn’t say there wasn’t, I was asking.”
“you should have just answered the question. Now I’ve already tricked you, you’ve already been seduced and I’ve used word magic on you. See how you’re asking questions and caring about what I answer? it’s already too late”
“well then my answer is “maybe.””
“cheat.”
“well you don’t play fair either. You seduced me, remember.”
“that’s not the same. alright, I’m sorry.”
“for seducing me or?”
“sure.”
“how can you be so sure I’m seduced?”
“because you’re doing it for me, now.”
“huh?”
vulgarities? vulgar sex stories? exhibitionism? you are like a little baby. watch this
Ah the classic Schrodinger’s box conundrum of mate selection:
If he is only doing it for himself, then she can just as easily be replaced by someone else (cheater).
BUT
If he only does it for her, then he could easily grow to resent her, self-sabotage and end up not doing it at all (loser).
A living relationship requires that both possibilities exist at once. A successful one requires continuous negotiation between the two.