Man I fucken get that feeling, though people around me only failed at it it still feels like shit and you're probably stronger than me I just kept trucking cause I don't know what to do
Hopefully when that time comes and you do 'save' her, you will be in the right frame of mind yourself, and feel that you have done enough. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
Sorry about your grandmother, but have you considered that she made her own choice as an adult? In the before paragraph I notice you sort of taking things out on yourself, or using the suicide to measure your value as a family and a son, and then after the realization, the solution also involves referencing yourself. It's more likely your grandmother was a lovely woman who decided of her own volition to end her own pain, and that you were a rather small factor in this decision.
I have considered that since that is what I reject, based on the knowledge from my own life, that no one ever makes a decision on their own volition, and that that way of thinking about the world is what prevents us from achieving the human connectedness that we desire in the first place because it absolves us from our natural responsibilities to each other
This work in progress is the least halfbaked thing you have published since "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". But as far as being halfbaked is concerned, I don't really think you had what it takes to "finish" any of the things you published since then, it would have taken a long time before you had it. And that goes against the grinder mindset, doesn't it?
I don't know if it's possible to be satisfied at all talking about these sorts of things. it's too singular, too personal to talk of anything vertical. Anytime I did it I felt like I was only cheapening myself. But after indulging, if I happened to came across it later when I had forgotten ever having written it, upon reading it I felt a certain sort of joy reminiscing and perhaps drawing a new interpretation. Not saying that it's enough justification though, I don't have what it takes to make a claim that bold.
Man I fucken get that feeling, though people around me only failed at it it still feels like shit and you're probably stronger than me I just kept trucking cause I don't know what to do
Amen.
Hopefully when that time comes and you do 'save' her, you will be in the right frame of mind yourself, and feel that you have done enough. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
it’s been nice to watch you grow up this year
maybe not nice exactly but it’s nice to see the team you’ve been rooting for from your Gmail inbox finally win
Haiku for you:
You can't save grandma
You can only save yourself
Trying to save mom.
Sorry about your grandmother, but have you considered that she made her own choice as an adult? In the before paragraph I notice you sort of taking things out on yourself, or using the suicide to measure your value as a family and a son, and then after the realization, the solution also involves referencing yourself. It's more likely your grandmother was a lovely woman who decided of her own volition to end her own pain, and that you were a rather small factor in this decision.
I have considered that since that is what I reject, based on the knowledge from my own life, that no one ever makes a decision on their own volition, and that that way of thinking about the world is what prevents us from achieving the human connectedness that we desire in the first place because it absolves us from our natural responsibilities to each other
This work in progress is the least halfbaked thing you have published since "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". But as far as being halfbaked is concerned, I don't really think you had what it takes to "finish" any of the things you published since then, it would have taken a long time before you had it. And that goes against the grinder mindset, doesn't it?
I almost completely agree, except I'm not particularly satisfied with this one. but distance i liked
I don't know if it's possible to be satisfied at all talking about these sorts of things. it's too singular, too personal to talk of anything vertical. Anytime I did it I felt like I was only cheapening myself. But after indulging, if I happened to came across it later when I had forgotten ever having written it, upon reading it I felt a certain sort of joy reminiscing and perhaps drawing a new interpretation. Not saying that it's enough justification though, I don't have what it takes to make a claim that bold.
I don't remember ever feeling like that upon recalling an occasion on which I jacked off