Alien dream analysis

autoerotic psychoanalysis

It all begins with my my fundamental existential problem of communication; “being understood”. Engaging with a hostile Other, and being able to see the way in which it misinterprets me, and having to explain this to resolve the miscommunication, while stile being within the problem. A seemingly impossible task.

I am back in the old house I lived in with a ton of roommates, and I am fighting with that guys sister. It frustrates me to madness that she is incapable of understanding me. We are being very harsh with each other and she is extremely mad at me. There is something animal and Other about her: I am being attacked by something incomprehensible.

We are throwing a new years eve party. Finally resolving that she is a force of nature and not a person, I leave the party to go to another. I give up on her - I am resigned to considering her an enemy. It is a beastly, faceless force, a profound darkness of great malice, which is utterly alien, and provokes me, experimenting on me like an object without dignity. Nudges me, prods at me, deliberately tries to make me angry. Sadistic - she enjoys making me upset.

I go to another party of strangers, and she and pursues me there to continue having the fight. Now it is doubly pointless. I am no longer in my home, but in a another space, and the conflict which was ostensibly about our home, has pursued me, from my owned spaced into public space. It is present even as I am homeless, it pursues me into no man's land.

I walk away from her again, into the street, out of the other, unnamed, people's owned space, into the true public, true unowned space, true "nature" (a big city, Copenhagen).

Outside, I am soon confronted by giant lions roaming the streets. About 4 times the size of a normal lion, all male. Packs of giant lions are roaming the streets, hunting people indiscriminately. I flee on instinct, I flee them with no moral or psychological baggage, they are pure death, Nature without intention or malice, as opposed to the intelligence tormenting me earlier.

I escape into the foyer of a big hotel building, but find the lions have already gotten inside. I run into an elevator to escape to the upper levels, here I meet other strangers escaping the lions. The streets had been mostly empty, but here there are people.

At the 2nd floor, still lions.

Getting out at the top floor, we think we are safe for now, and watch from a plateau the carnage below. It is a big open space where there is yet another party, now with thousands of people. Doing the whole ecstasy, spring break, "normie" party thing. Everyone except the people who just arrived escaping the lions are oblivious, and are just partying hard.

The lions are brainless automatons, machines, weapons, a tool to herd us.

As I try to think about what to do next, once the lions reach up here, having nowhere else to go, the sky turns red and kaleidoscopic, psychedelic. A great round metally sphere slowly blocks out the sun, and people stop and stare in horror. Rules of nature break down and we all go insane, as the alien ship contorts reality around it.

A great whirlwind intelligence of deep malice, but with caution and interest - Academic curiosity.

A voice in the crowd expresses a suddenly returning repressed memory: "this happened last year too", someone says. I recognize intellectually that this is true - last new year, aliens used lions to herd a big crowd of ten thousand people together in one spot, to experiment on them, and we all forgot about it. I can’t even remember it happening, I just know that it is true.

I am not quite "taken on board the ship", as much as “reality explodes around me”. I am taken to No-Where, a realm of nothing, dragged through the kaleidoscope sky, or rather, existence explodes in all directions around me, disintegrates. I no longer have a body, and I am no-where. I am a brain in a vat, but without a brain and without a vat. There is only me as spirit, the great whirlwind intelligence, and great deep, dark, nothing.

It experiments on me, laughing at me, shocking me, forcing various kinds of stimulation to see how I react, in lightning speed. It feels like electroshock, but only because it is so fast. A million flashing images, sounds, concepts, with no pattern or rhyme. It laughs at my pain. It belittles me, seeks to humiliate me, it wants me to despair. It seems like it is mapping me, prodding and proving to understand, but it is not indifferent and academic. Beyond mapping my reactions it also wants me to lose faith, to despair, to break. To give up. It takes pleasure in it, glee, it taunts me.

As I have no body, and do not exist in space, I experience it as being stuck, unable to move.

I wake up and pray.

I wake up scared stiff. I am not unable to move, but I am scared to. I am scared to open my eyes. Horrified. Tense. Pressure on my chest. I pray out loud, for maybe ten minutes.

I usually don't remember my dreams if I don't write them down immediately after waking up. I remember all of it vividly.

One interpretation is the woman is clearly a vehicle for the aliens, a secret agent, like the lions, and the entire thing is an alien zoo constructed to put me through a certain ordeal - no one except one person were "named" or faced, as people I know, they were all strangers with no reference, speaks to the entity perspective. The only “named” and “faced” character in my dream was the girl, and she was clearly something else. Usually I only dream about people I know, there are really no strangers in my dreams. Here, they were all uniquely definable, specific people, and yet none of them drawn from my memories - as if synthetic.

Another interpretation is that the aliens are to be understood as a vehicle of Women. Coming from me, a man who is always saying that we should recognize women as radically Other, and quite literally using the words “incomprehensible, alien”. And very clearly being about my own struggles with a specific woman in particular and women in general. The language I choose to describe the first part of the dream should make this pretty obvious.

Rather than the woman being some secret alien agent, something which has a similarity to Aliens, it is noticeable that the aliens, in my dreams as well as in so many abductee stories, take the form of a "jilted ex girlfriend". Even after fully revealing themselves at the top of the building and abducting and experimenting on thousands of people, their approach, on a personally level, kind of being like a jilted ex girlfriend, who wants to “win the breakup”.

She want’s to understand you, she is trying to prod and poke at you to see what makes you tick. but she would also very much like that you were humiliated and break down in despair.

A woman trying to understand you, comes from a place of fear. We can experience her as the radically alien other, but the reason for her perceived cruelty, is her instinctual fear of you, a inherent recognition of the male-female dynamic.

In a sense both sides can only feel completely at the mercy of the other, and are in a sense incapable of ever truly recognising it. Only abstractly, through reason and intellect - it cannot be truly felt and experienced. It is an inherent, unresolvable, contradiction in human cognition.

Maybe the real explanation for the ufo abduction phenomena was women all along.

The other recurring motif is that of “parties”, large social events where I struggle to fit in, as described in my previous post. What we have here is loneliness, feeling like an outsider to the normie sphere, and perceiving women as the key, and the guard, of entrance to that place of belonging.

The horror of the dream being a recognition that that place of belonging never existed - there never was a garden of eden I was excluded from. The Normie world is a feminized world, a world of incomprehensible Otherness. The hysteric zeitgeist of our time, the feminine social order that’s presented as the human universal. All these “cultural” things we worry about.

And they are lashing out in fear, like a jilted ex girlfriend, who doesn’t - can’t - realise, that she has all the power in the world, to destroy you.

Third option, maybe demons are trying to fuck with me.