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some housekeeping: I've never been more unhappy in my entire life. this past week is the worst I've ever felt. So all things considered, probably the worst quality and quantity of content on the blog that there will ever be. I am feeling a lot better today, but I don't recommend doing this. quitting things is just a desperate metaphor for trying to prove you have control over your life and it is a misdirection of your focus and energy, which you should direct onto the things directly responsible for your felt lack of agency - namely, making money

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Hope things get better mate, fwiw even the woe is me posting is entertaining

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that is a tremendous relief honestly

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Revisiting the past, realizing that acts of reality-avoiding spiritual woo-woo is inherently cringe. Never is "it" quitting, only a diversion for something else. Anything that keeps the eyes off the road is a car crash waiting to happen. Borrowed from Venkatesh Rao https://studio.ribbonfarm.com/p/against-waldenponding-ii

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Good post

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thank you lb means a lot

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Why are all women bisexual, do you think?

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And why did your post make me consider that question? Something to do with a middle-path? Effortless being? De-narrativization; embodiment of the physical?

I was up past four last night chasing ghosts. I cancelled my social plans for the day. I feel strange. I’m going to sit in chemicals and sound probably. I should do the dishes and fold the laundry and change the sheets or my wife will be pissed when she gets back from the city. A maladaptive pattern, but I can forgive myself: my grandma just died, after all.

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I'm sorry for your loss. I have been feeling pretty strange myself

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well you have clear chemical cause

the wind blows where it will

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Laughed a tremendous amount at this one. Good stuff

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randy you're writing very well recently i'm sorry that you're in so much pain

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I've passed through the worst of it now, now jedi mind tricks no longer work on me and I only care about one thing

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