18 Comments

„ Ten years ago, I discovered that I could “think better” - faster, more efficient, not just repeating myself over and over in my head - by the physical act of writing.“

What I find interesting is the contrast to Paul Graham, who apparently assumes it is natural that you have to write in order to generate and refine ideas, without implying brain damage:

„Writing doesn't just communicate ideas; it generates them.“ [0]

I would guess this was always the case, but that electronic media has intensified this natural tendency.

[0] http://www.paulgraham.com/writing44.html

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I kind of gloss over it here, but i had a huge theory developed around how i was a special case, which I have more or less abandoned now

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Well, everyone wants to be special, even though only Jesus is

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I haven't fleshed out my thoughts on this, but I think it is no coincidence that the Golden Rule of psychedelic experiences is "for the love of God don't look in the mirror". Which makes sense, as the intended goal of hallucinations is always some level of ego death. Even if you're not taking heroic dose-HPPD-mkultra levels of acid, some disconnect between the mind and body is always the outcome. This is why nausea/vomiting is viewed in shamanic cultures as an essential, unavoidable hurdle to beginning a vision quest- by vomiting you are literally "purging", killing off the commissars of the body so that the mind can be unshackled to explore itself.

I have been out of the game for awhile, but last time I checked, if "no mirrors" is the golden rule of hallucinating, then "no phones" would follow intuitively as the other half of the Great Commandment. Airplane mode was an unspoken understanding between my friends and I. I think if social media had only an obliterating effect on the ego (as I think you are arguing?) then this ritual would be unnecessary. If you are about to embark on an experience where a certain loss of the self is an expected, and intended consequence, then what could be the harm in a little electronic dissociation, as a treat? I think it is an ouroboros- at the same time as the ego is being infinitely devoured and digested- destroyed- it is also being infinitely gorged and sated. A hyperego emerging as defensive response to the annihilation of the ego (or the other way around I'm not sure).

I like the nod to No Mouth. In social media culture we have all become AM- at the same time, paradoxially, omni potent and impotent. The terror of having a bad trip after looking at your phone/a mirror is the terror of being both infinitely aware and infinitely powerless, and thereby alone.

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What was the goal of dropping acid, triggering the emergence of the hyperego?

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I made that word up lol. But for most people who consider themselves "psychonauts", probably the opposite. I think they see it as another means to the same end as buddhist enlightnment- to lose your sense of "I" and become one with everything. I was just 19 and looking to experiment. I was never into the whole "ego death" thing. "Hang on to your ego" to quote Brian Wilson.

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Funnily I made the opposite experience with buddhist meditation - it strengthens the ego and nukes anxiety. Very dangerous (for relationships) tool, but can be (positively) life changing for schizo types. Seems to have zero effect on women.

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Wasnt it meant to lower your ego or whatever or do I have it totally messed up?

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No that's the advertised model, in my experience both is kind of true if you squint just the right way, and people's conception of what constitutes "lower ego" might not be what really happens. Eg willpower definitely increases.

I hesitate to make further claims because I'm not that qualified (only experienced in the Goenka school). As a rule of thumb what they say is generally true, but IMO incomplete and they don't do a great job explaining the failure modes and risks. The 10 day course can have strong effects, and that last for several weeks.

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That makes sense tbh. I feel like in general people have a somewhat wrong idea of what ego/healthy ego is so that doesnt help out either.

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The only response to cultural fungus is to subscribe to Egg Report

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I like your argument about outsourcing your thinking to the "group". But I myself feel like I sometimes vocalize my thoughts to make them clearer otherwise I cant quite continue forward and for some reason that feels similar to the "NPCs". What concerns me really is that my thought feels inefficient as well which concerns obviously. Or I might be coping who knows.

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So long as you're not talking at a camera I think you're good

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Good to know. Thanks!

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Nice essay. Cogito, ergo sum

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An interesting attribute of public sphere is time density or continuity - the public performance is at very high 9999fps and expects fast interactive response, compared to private sphere with no interaction guarantee and slow fps giving time buffer for processing. The realtime high fps requirement enforces limits on complexity that the medium can bear. Objects have to keep up persistent continuous qualities.

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To continue the "public sphere object" vector, any such object becomes part of the publicly-available object network, and thus has the CAP theorem apply to it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/CAP_theorem

Maintaining the public object up-to-date, reflecting latest attribute updates, requires one or more active subjects to act, with CAP partition issues arising when multiple subjects' views on the object diverge.

Every objectification, especially of "self" risks inviting other subjects to try and change the object (unseen violence), without asking explicit permission, creating partition merge conflicts that require explicit violence to resolve.

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Just saw this:

https://escholarship.org/uc/item/93p4r8td

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