Confession: reading this post, along with some other posts on this blog, I'm under the suspicion that in the near future, I will be able to make a time machine, travel to the past and start a Substack called Egg Report. Reading these posts is like having a Tyler Durden writing a post about my experiences – only better. Thank you.
On Paul, it's so striking how deeply he's woven into the New Testament as well. We *must* accept him, or reject the whole edifice. If we reject Paul, we reject Peter's endorsement of him in II Peter. If we reject Peter, we must reject Mark. We must reject Acts and, with Acts, Luke. Then there are all the early Church fathers...What are we left with? Some skeleton of Scripture held up by nothing.
And this is, we see, *how God works*. We have to accept the absurdity of it all, "is this not the carpenter's son?", the Bread of Life discourse, examples multiple beyond measure throughout Scripture, and, more than anything, Christ crucified, God tortured and dead, an absurdity.
What if Paul was always good in his heart, but was simply in error? What else do we see in Saul the persecutor of the church other than the same conviction that Paul the apostle later displayed throughout his life? Essentially: what if the only thing about Paul that changed was his ideas, not his character?
"You don’t think you are worthy of it. You don’t think you deserve being a good person. So you covet, or whatever it is for you. I covet. I covet real bad."
it is crazy how it seems on some level to be the height of ego to say such a thing, and yet i have on more than one occasion in the past wondered if this is the root of my problem. i try to get better, or i think i try, who knows, but eventually it's like i decide that my sins are part of me, that i can't let them go, and i throw myself back into the dirt. i don't even enjoy it but i just keep doing it.
i can't figure out how to get there from here. i can't figure out how to stop being afraid to actually care for myself and how to stop hurting myself.
can't tell you how much that thread on Paul meant to me when i first found out on an old acct on twitter - and how clarifying it was to me and my own objections to Paul (and the Bible); I would hide behind the nietzsche line about the 'smell of the new testament' and tremble at the Old Testament God.
I've had to undergo serious transformation before I was even able to digest your Paul thread, and I'm glad I found it again on substack.
Then you add even more alfa to it by pointing out that your love is cold; and this indicts me as well.
Just saw a post of some AI generated whores, and everyone was debating whether or not one could tell if they were real. All the comments were basically "oh no how will we tell which whores are real?" With my religious background and this post, I simply recognized they were whores, and moved along with my day. Thanks Randy.
shit this was so good. my mom is a pastor so I grew up on bible stories/sunday school but I never heard this framing of sins: "You are not punished for doing bad stuff, it’s the doing-bad-stuff that is the punishment."
this also landed: "I don’t think I need to explain it, if you are reading this, you get it already. I can play along for a bit, but I don’t get anything out of it"
Confession: reading this post, along with some other posts on this blog, I'm under the suspicion that in the near future, I will be able to make a time machine, travel to the past and start a Substack called Egg Report. Reading these posts is like having a Tyler Durden writing a post about my experiences – only better. Thank you.
Hell ya
Sent this to a friend and he proceeded to (figuratively, it was all caps) yell fuck you to me, I guess he liked it. I liked this one a lot too
thanks
Thank you for writing this.
Reading your semi regular posts about wrestling with God and modernity are the best parts of my day
Wait until you start loving people and praying for them. The slope is very slippery.
On Paul, it's so striking how deeply he's woven into the New Testament as well. We *must* accept him, or reject the whole edifice. If we reject Paul, we reject Peter's endorsement of him in II Peter. If we reject Peter, we must reject Mark. We must reject Acts and, with Acts, Luke. Then there are all the early Church fathers...What are we left with? Some skeleton of Scripture held up by nothing.
And this is, we see, *how God works*. We have to accept the absurdity of it all, "is this not the carpenter's son?", the Bread of Life discourse, examples multiple beyond measure throughout Scripture, and, more than anything, Christ crucified, God tortured and dead, an absurdity.
What if Paul was always good in his heart, but was simply in error? What else do we see in Saul the persecutor of the church other than the same conviction that Paul the apostle later displayed throughout his life? Essentially: what if the only thing about Paul that changed was his ideas, not his character?
"You don’t think you are worthy of it. You don’t think you deserve being a good person. So you covet, or whatever it is for you. I covet. I covet real bad."
it is crazy how it seems on some level to be the height of ego to say such a thing, and yet i have on more than one occasion in the past wondered if this is the root of my problem. i try to get better, or i think i try, who knows, but eventually it's like i decide that my sins are part of me, that i can't let them go, and i throw myself back into the dirt. i don't even enjoy it but i just keep doing it.
i can't figure out how to get there from here. i can't figure out how to stop being afraid to actually care for myself and how to stop hurting myself.
You once again revitalize my perception of morality and my christian upbringing. Thanks for that
can't tell you how much that thread on Paul meant to me when i first found out on an old acct on twitter - and how clarifying it was to me and my own objections to Paul (and the Bible); I would hide behind the nietzsche line about the 'smell of the new testament' and tremble at the Old Testament God.
I've had to undergo serious transformation before I was even able to digest your Paul thread, and I'm glad I found it again on substack.
Then you add even more alfa to it by pointing out that your love is cold; and this indicts me as well.
keep poasting
“You see, Mister Chigurh, it wasn’t about the usefulness of the rule at all… it was about the following.”
Just saw a post of some AI generated whores, and everyone was debating whether or not one could tell if they were real. All the comments were basically "oh no how will we tell which whores are real?" With my religious background and this post, I simply recognized they were whores, and moved along with my day. Thanks Randy.
shit this was so good. my mom is a pastor so I grew up on bible stories/sunday school but I never heard this framing of sins: "You are not punished for doing bad stuff, it’s the doing-bad-stuff that is the punishment."
this also landed: "I don’t think I need to explain it, if you are reading this, you get it already. I can play along for a bit, but I don’t get anything out of it"
This should be preached as a sermon. Amazing 👏