Idk if this is the vibe you were going for but I'm gonna be autistic about it.
Asking what it means to feel something and how it fundamentally differs from identical events from a different perspective. It is still real and will add to you and morph into a different mode of feeling. The feelings of being the lowest, to gaming being the highest, to being you, are distinct despite having the same input. Filtering all your emotions through a perspective still make for a valid experience to add to the foundations.
i was an outsider, but not a fashionable one with cool alt friends. i didn’t do drugs. i would eat lunch with one friend in the normal lunchroom, or alone in the weird tiny loser lunchroom during semesters when my one friend didn’t have the same lunch as me.
i threw a party senior year. i have no idea why people actually showed up, maybe because i had made one or two new friends in video class with just enough reach. or maybe because john hoffman was the first to show up, nobody was there and we had zero in common, but he got on his phone to make a call and said There’s A Ton Of Free Alcohol Here.
everyone loved me. i was popular for a night. my one friends girlfriend joanna pulled me aside and said why are you being nice to such and such people, they aren’t nice to you, they aren’t your friend. but i didn’t care. i put my arm around one of the mean girls, colleen. for that one night, everyone liked me.
it didn’t translate to any new friendships afterward. i threw a couple more parties that summer and the following. they were legendary, like those 90s coming of age movies. i even got a sorta girlfriend after the last one. (i found out later, she sucked my friends dick at that party. actually she had sucked a lot of dicks around town. then she dumped me after she sucked another dick at the jewish frat at her state school college.)
anyway. that was a lifetime ago. i keep throwing parties.
No, no, don't be so hard on yourself. You're not a Jew.
Idk if this is the vibe you were going for but I'm gonna be autistic about it.
Asking what it means to feel something and how it fundamentally differs from identical events from a different perspective. It is still real and will add to you and morph into a different mode of feeling. The feelings of being the lowest, to gaming being the highest, to being you, are distinct despite having the same input. Filtering all your emotions through a perspective still make for a valid experience to add to the foundations.
in an alternative universe you were brain damaged so much that you couldn't think about this shit at all
(un)lucky
Interesting .
In high school we didn't yet have computers etc, "PONG" was the _only_ 'video game' .
I was talking to one of my 1960's buddies today about all this .
-Nate
i was an outsider, but not a fashionable one with cool alt friends. i didn’t do drugs. i would eat lunch with one friend in the normal lunchroom, or alone in the weird tiny loser lunchroom during semesters when my one friend didn’t have the same lunch as me.
i threw a party senior year. i have no idea why people actually showed up, maybe because i had made one or two new friends in video class with just enough reach. or maybe because john hoffman was the first to show up, nobody was there and we had zero in common, but he got on his phone to make a call and said There’s A Ton Of Free Alcohol Here.
everyone loved me. i was popular for a night. my one friends girlfriend joanna pulled me aside and said why are you being nice to such and such people, they aren’t nice to you, they aren’t your friend. but i didn’t care. i put my arm around one of the mean girls, colleen. for that one night, everyone liked me.
it didn’t translate to any new friendships afterward. i threw a couple more parties that summer and the following. they were legendary, like those 90s coming of age movies. i even got a sorta girlfriend after the last one. (i found out later, she sucked my friends dick at that party. actually she had sucked a lot of dicks around town. then she dumped me after she sucked another dick at the jewish frat at her state school college.)
anyway. that was a lifetime ago. i keep throwing parties.
Reliving my youth through this post a little. Beautiful stuff man.
Btw I obsess over my work crush too.