I was being very gay about getting a first job myself to prove that I could for no reason until I read a manga (I am very gay) where a guy that was a NEET for 10 years finally learned to swallow his pride and take the job his dad got him and that made me realize that's literally me in 8 years if I don't do this earlier I'm just gonna get gayer
autists infinitely seeking independence is the same as everyone infinitely seeking sweets, men infinitely seeking sex, etc.
It exists because it’s supposed to be balanced by the environment. But the environmental balancing force has been removed by the modern world.
Up until 20th century, infinite seeking of sweets was the best way to get the appropriate carb intake because they were so rare in the environment. Now that this cap is removed by assembly lines and mass production and grocery stores, it’s just killing everyone.
Up until 20th, infinite seeking of sex was the best way for men to be motivated to climb the hierarchy and thus provide something of value that helps the whole tribe survive and this led to generally appropriate balance of family and work. Because sexual access from women was so hard to acquire (women protected, culture against promiscuity, cant go around fucking your sisters and cousins, etc). Now that this cap is removed, we’re all either addicted to porn or “redpilled chads” who waste all our sexual energy fucking dumb sluts instead of building something or growing a family.
Similarly, up until the 20th century, the infinite autistic desire for solitude, independence, freedom, was mediated by the fact that you would literally die without some degree of dependence on your tribe. But today we can live on our own and survive. But in the same way as all the others, following our “nature” doesnt work as well as it’s supposed to. And thus we must learn to become dependent tribecucks to some degree if we want to actually get good results.
Probably made up ex post facto confirmation bias. But what isnt? Makes me feel reason enough to work toward it.
very good post! i enjoyed it a lot, i'm happy to hear about the house too.
oddly enough, starting to lift weights with Starting Strength introduced me to one of the safest places i've known, i literally squatted with the bar on my neck and fell over (twice) but have no reservations about being next to a guy deadlifting 785.
We very frequently confuse the accidents of the self with the substance of the self. Being on your own phone plan does not make you your own person. Living entirely independently does not make you your own person. Paying for your own health insurance does not make you your own person.
Because that's what this is ultimately about, right? Being your own person. Not being in a state of debt to other people. Proving to other people that you can do yourself, be yourself, and that you have the right to. Selling yourself to other people. Laundering the perfect idea of yourself through other people to sell it to yourself. Cutting off relationships to prove to people that you don't need them. Burning down bridges to prove you know how fire works. It's so easy to go from something so natural to something so animal.
I have this friend. Very well off. Went to college, got a good job. Immediately got his own apartment, his own car, his own phone plan, everything. Everything completely independent of his parents, even though he lived in the same town. Then he realized, it doesn't matter. Those things are all accidents. People who are fully themselves have those accidents, but you don't need those accidents to just be yourself. The only person who can tell what being yourself actually is, substantially, is you -- but others can tell when you invent excuses to destroy your relationships with them.
"Love your neighbor as yourself" and "The love of money is the root of all evil" are two ways of saying the same thing: Thou shalt not gamify human relationships. Thou shalt not denominate human relationships in terms of anything discrete or countable or measurable. Because then the relationship ceases to simply be itself and becomes about being itself, masturbatory; it's not about the other person, but about keeping track of score. You walk through life with a third-person camera in your head: should I do this? that? what's the generally-agreed-upon strategy here? what's the meta?
People literally don't work that way. At all. Ninety percent of life is just showing up and putting in some minimal amount of effort. (Not minimum, but minimal -- something just a small bit above trivial, just enough to show that you care.) Even as the system crumbles around us, that's still true. Show up to the gym. Show up to class. Show up at family get-togethers. It's not about what you say when you talk to the cute blonde; it's about, did you actually, in fact, talk to her? and put good faith effort into the conversation? Yes? Then you did good. Anything better than that is icing on the cake -- the act of spending time conversing with someone honestly in that setting is worth more than anything that actually comes out of your mouth.
Same thing with kids. If you spend time with your kids and deal with them rationally and treat them with honor, they'll eventually figure it out -- and if they don't, it's not because of you, but because of this crazy fucked-up world we inhabit. That doesn't make it any easier in the moment; it's just to say that there's truly nothing in the world that can prepare you for the hard moments, and anyone claiming to have something that does prepare you for them is trying to sell you snake oil.
While you may have not shown up to the gym at all these past two years, you still showed up at the home gym and gave it a good shot, and you've seen great results. Don't beat yourself up over it.
I was being very gay about getting a first job myself to prove that I could for no reason until I read a manga (I am very gay) where a guy that was a NEET for 10 years finally learned to swallow his pride and take the job his dad got him and that made me realize that's literally me in 8 years if I don't do this earlier I'm just gonna get gayer
Anyways I'm gay
This is great. Good luck and God bless.
gay evolutionary theorizing time:
autists infinitely seeking independence is the same as everyone infinitely seeking sweets, men infinitely seeking sex, etc.
It exists because it’s supposed to be balanced by the environment. But the environmental balancing force has been removed by the modern world.
Up until 20th century, infinite seeking of sweets was the best way to get the appropriate carb intake because they were so rare in the environment. Now that this cap is removed by assembly lines and mass production and grocery stores, it’s just killing everyone.
Up until 20th, infinite seeking of sex was the best way for men to be motivated to climb the hierarchy and thus provide something of value that helps the whole tribe survive and this led to generally appropriate balance of family and work. Because sexual access from women was so hard to acquire (women protected, culture against promiscuity, cant go around fucking your sisters and cousins, etc). Now that this cap is removed, we’re all either addicted to porn or “redpilled chads” who waste all our sexual energy fucking dumb sluts instead of building something or growing a family.
Similarly, up until the 20th century, the infinite autistic desire for solitude, independence, freedom, was mediated by the fact that you would literally die without some degree of dependence on your tribe. But today we can live on our own and survive. But in the same way as all the others, following our “nature” doesnt work as well as it’s supposed to. And thus we must learn to become dependent tribecucks to some degree if we want to actually get good results.
Probably made up ex post facto confirmation bias. But what isnt? Makes me feel reason enough to work toward it.
very good post! i enjoyed it a lot, i'm happy to hear about the house too.
oddly enough, starting to lift weights with Starting Strength introduced me to one of the safest places i've known, i literally squatted with the bar on my neck and fell over (twice) but have no reservations about being next to a guy deadlifting 785.
We very frequently confuse the accidents of the self with the substance of the self. Being on your own phone plan does not make you your own person. Living entirely independently does not make you your own person. Paying for your own health insurance does not make you your own person.
Because that's what this is ultimately about, right? Being your own person. Not being in a state of debt to other people. Proving to other people that you can do yourself, be yourself, and that you have the right to. Selling yourself to other people. Laundering the perfect idea of yourself through other people to sell it to yourself. Cutting off relationships to prove to people that you don't need them. Burning down bridges to prove you know how fire works. It's so easy to go from something so natural to something so animal.
I have this friend. Very well off. Went to college, got a good job. Immediately got his own apartment, his own car, his own phone plan, everything. Everything completely independent of his parents, even though he lived in the same town. Then he realized, it doesn't matter. Those things are all accidents. People who are fully themselves have those accidents, but you don't need those accidents to just be yourself. The only person who can tell what being yourself actually is, substantially, is you -- but others can tell when you invent excuses to destroy your relationships with them.
"Love your neighbor as yourself" and "The love of money is the root of all evil" are two ways of saying the same thing: Thou shalt not gamify human relationships. Thou shalt not denominate human relationships in terms of anything discrete or countable or measurable. Because then the relationship ceases to simply be itself and becomes about being itself, masturbatory; it's not about the other person, but about keeping track of score. You walk through life with a third-person camera in your head: should I do this? that? what's the generally-agreed-upon strategy here? what's the meta?
People literally don't work that way. At all. Ninety percent of life is just showing up and putting in some minimal amount of effort. (Not minimum, but minimal -- something just a small bit above trivial, just enough to show that you care.) Even as the system crumbles around us, that's still true. Show up to the gym. Show up to class. Show up at family get-togethers. It's not about what you say when you talk to the cute blonde; it's about, did you actually, in fact, talk to her? and put good faith effort into the conversation? Yes? Then you did good. Anything better than that is icing on the cake -- the act of spending time conversing with someone honestly in that setting is worth more than anything that actually comes out of your mouth.
Same thing with kids. If you spend time with your kids and deal with them rationally and treat them with honor, they'll eventually figure it out -- and if they don't, it's not because of you, but because of this crazy fucked-up world we inhabit. That doesn't make it any easier in the moment; it's just to say that there's truly nothing in the world that can prepare you for the hard moments, and anyone claiming to have something that does prepare you for them is trying to sell you snake oil.
While you may have not shown up to the gym at all these past two years, you still showed up at the home gym and gave it a good shot, and you've seen great results. Don't beat yourself up over it.